Need a Joe's crow!

The wife is a great mechanic. If we run out of gas she says tighten the license plate. If the radio doesn’t work, she says roll up the window.  .  . that kind of mechanic.

A couple of weeks ago she went to start the truck and it wouldn’t. She concluded the battery went dead because the temperature had dropped (to 70) and she had failed to close the passenger door properly.

Other than the temperature part, we agreed.

Got the battery charged up and it started like a charm. No more problems.

Until Saturday!

She called from the library saying the truck wouldn’t start, so bring the charger and the long extension cord. We called the daughter and she came to save the day with some cables and a ride.

No need in hauling all that other stuff!

She has an odd car with the battery in the trunk and the cables weren’t long enough. The man parked next to us was in the pool hall and he came out to give us a hand.

No success!

Lights work. Radio works. Locks work. Wipers work. It just won’t start.

“It’s a bad battery,” she says. “Go get the charger.”

We proceeded to get back in the car, cussing by the way, and proceed back to the house.

Understand that our back is killing us and we can hardly walk. The arthritis in our right hand is sending pain through our fingers and on top of that, it starts to rain.

We returned, hooked it up and plugged everything in to the library, left here there and returned home.

But not without a few choice words about how this wasn’t going to work.

“It’s a bad battery”, was her only comment . . . well, along with a few choice words about my mental capacity.

Nothing worked. Battery charger. Changing relays. Checking fuses. Borrowing tools. Countless trips back and forth for this and that. Nothing.

Nothing, that is, except the constant “It’s a bad battery” “It’s a bad battery”!

Sunday was a brighter day. We had determined that to keep the peace we would remove the battery and once and for all SHUT HER THE HELL UP!

Everyone in the downtown area and East Newbern was privy to our conservation as to our feelings.

With battery in tow, she headed off to have the battery checked. We refused to go, because we refused to be laughed at by the guy who checked the battery.

Fixed some ice and a drink, got a bag of chips and tuned in the Falcons and Redskins.

And then the phone rang.

“It’s a bad battery,” she said. I swear I heard a silent hahahahaha, I told you so, but I didn’t.

Well, at least the Falcons won.

Damn it! Now I’ve gotta call Joe Hall and see if he has any crows!

A beautiful sunshine

When the sun comes up this morning, a dear friend of mine is going to have the most gorgeous view of anyone I know. She will be on a hillside overlooking miles of green valleys and views that answer the question "Is there really a God? with a resounding YES.

And when the summer finally gives way to winter, she will find herself overlooking a snow covered valley. The once green trees will have given up their leaves and reveal large and numerous lakes and ponds that attract literally thousand upon thousands of various species of ducks.

As the winter progresses, the ducks will be replaced by flocks of wild geese migrating their way south.

We can see her smiling from ear to ear with that contagious grin as she begins to design pictures she will be sharing with her new friends. They will look in wonder at what she has done to bring new life to their home.

She will bring smiles to their faces because she has brought a fresh, new life to their home

Making people laugh and enjoying life is what she makes her such a special person!

And when Spring arrives, and the green fields return, flocks of wild turkey will come marching up the hill with their newest broods to introduce their newest resident.

She won’t suffer under the heat of the summer sun, because there is almost a constant breeze blowing over her hillside. So while we will complain about the summer heat, she will be smiling – always smiling – and overlooking her valley that will change before her very eyes.

And she will start each day - from now and forever - with that beautiful sunrise.

(My friend, Jennifer Wallace Ditterline, was laid to rest at the Mount Olive Cemetery near Pope County, Illinois Tuesday, August 14, 2011 Jennifer was 34 years old. She lost her life in a tragic vehicle accident and left a great void in the lives of her parents, brother, husband and countless friends. She will be greatly missed by us all.)

The 545

We agree with President Obama following remarks me issued at his news conference this morning. Well . . . . at least partially!

Gearing up for his re-election bid, he does what any good politician does who looks to the future and sees himself back in Illinois without a job in two years – he finds someone else to blame.

His target today was Congress. “They need to lead,” he said, and he’s right.

But he failed in putting himself in that category, also.

In an undated piece I have, written by Charley Reese, is penned the following:

“Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them. Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits? Have you ever wondered by, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?”

Let us interject that if you are not familiar with Mr. Reese, he is a nationally syndicated columnist who has received a nomination for the Pulitzer Prize. He is also widely acclaimed for several books he had written.

Reese noted that: “You and I don’t propose a federal budget. The president does. You and I don’t have the Constitutional authority to vote of appropriations. The House of Representatives does. You and I don’t write the tax code. Congress does. You and I don’t control monetary policy. The Federal Reserve Bank does.”

Are you beginning to understand why our current president may have come close to shifting the blame so convincingly? But don’t jump the gun and cast your vote just yet.

Reese didn’t exactly leave out the person who holds the highest position in our government.

“One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court justices – 545 human beings out of 235 million (311,655 currently) – are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problem’s that plague this country.”

The writer went on by excluding a number of people that we all might want to hold responsible, directly or indirectly, to the mess we are in today.

“I exclude the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress . . .

“I exclude all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don’t care if they offer a politician $1 million in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator’s responsibility to determine how he votes.”

His writing, which if far better than this author can pen, explains that the ultimate power with lies with only 545 citizens of this country. He encourages each of us not to be conned by the rhetoric politicians spew forth that it is all the economy, inflation, or politics that keep them from their oath to the people who sent them to Washington to take care of the people’s business.

“Those 545 people and they alone are responsible. They and they alone have the power. They ad they alone should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses – provided we the people have the gumption to manage our own employees.”

Obama cannot shift the entire blame to Congress. He is part of the 545 people who are part of the problem and he holds the top spot.

He was only partially correct when he tried to shift the problem.

Remembering Kevin

In the early 1990s, Kevin was just another young student at Dyer County High School He had rather be on the football field than in the classroom, but that didn’t stop him from his graduation in the spring of 1993.

Kevin wasn’t the Valedictorian, but was the Most Valuable Player that year. Guess which one he cherished the most.

At his side during those years were a group of boys, and a girl – now young men and woman with families – who grew up with Kevin. They went to kindergarten in the Newbern area. They threw water balloons at Halloween. They hooped and partied and planned for the future then took jobs or when off to college.

But they all stayed close only as friends can.

Three years later, those friends, the community of Newbern, and the surrounding area joined his family in a state of shock as word swept through the close knit community that Kevin had been killed in a place that many had never heard spoken.

Pfc. Kevin F. Edgin, with the Army's 87th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division based in Fort Drum, N.Y., died in Helmand province's Baghran Valley, Afghanistan.

It was on July 6, 2006, that Kevin died as he defended his comrades from enemy fire and gave them protection they needed for a few brief moments. When his weapon stopped firing, he dropped it and grabbed another, prior to being fatally wounded.

He was the youngest of three sons – he was 31 - and lived at home with his parents. He'd never married. He still had the same friends since kindergarten.

And it is those buddies – both male and female - who have honored their friend in remembrance each year with a memorial golf tournament in Dyersburg.

They don’t do it because he was the first solider from Dyer County to lose his life since the Vietnam War; they don’t do it because literally thousands of people attended the funeral; they don’t do it because the Army awarded him commendations and metals; they don’t even do it because Kevin played golf.

They do it because he was their friend and classmate.

If you don’t play golf, or even if you never knew Kevin, you can still help. Call Greg Garner at 731-445-0983. Money raised by Kevin’s friends is contributed each year to a College Scholarship fund in his name.

This year two students, Demetrius Wheeler and Donnie Nelson each received a $1,500 scholarship this year to assist with their college education.

We think Kevin would like that.

Scary

This ought to scare most people, because most people have no more sense that to believe what she is saying.

Maybe looking for one of those Czar appointments? Cabinet post? Something high in the Democratic party organization?

Three Cheers

I didn't write the following. I wish I had. Enjoy.

Three Cheers for Obama

BEFORE YOU THINK I'VE FLIPPED MY LID, READ THE ENTIRE COLUMN!
Too good not to forward.

Three Cheers for Obama! That is right - I will say it. . .. . THANK GOD FOR OBAMA!

He destroyed the Clinton Political Machine - Driving a stake thru the Heart of Hillary's Presidential aspirations--something no Republican was ever able to do. Remember when a Hillary Presidency scared the daylights out of you!

He killed off the Kennedy Dynasty - No more Kennedys trolling Washingtonlooking for booze and women wanting rides home. American women and freedom are safer tonight!

He is destroying the Democratic Party before our eyes!

Dennis Moore had never lost a race - quit

Evan Bayh had never lost a race - quit

Byron Dorgan - had never lost a race - quit

Harry Reid - bid for re-election doesn't look good

These are just a handful of the Democrats whose political careers Obama has destroyed! By the end of 2010 dozens more will be!

In December of 2008 the Democrats were on the rise. In the last two election cycles they had picked up 14 senate seats and 52 house seats.

The press was touting the death of the Conservative Movement and the Republican Party.

In one year Obama put a stop to all of this and will probably give the house, if not the senate back to the Republicans.


Obama was named Gun Salesman of the Decade. He also has helped the ammunition industry so much that the factories are operating 24-7 trying to keep up with the demand.

He has completely exposed liberals and progressives for what they are.

Every generation seems to need to relearn the lesson on why they should never actually put liberals in charge.

He is bringing home the lesson very well!
Liberals tax, borrow and spend - check
Liberals won't bring themselves to protect America - check
Liberals want to take over the economy - check
Liberals think they know what is best for everyone - check
Liberals aren't happy till they are running YOUR life - check

He has brought more Americans back to conservatism than anyone since Reagan
In one year he rejuvenated the Conservative Movement and brought out to the streets millions of Freedom Loving Americans.

Name me one other time in your life that you saw your friends and neighbors this interested in taking back America!

In all honesty one year ago I was more afraid than I had ever been in my life. Not of the economy, but of the direction our country is going. I thought Americans had forgotten what this country was all about. My neighbors, friends, strangers proved to me that my lack of confidence of the greatness and wisdom of the American people was flat out wrong.

When the American People wake up, no smooth talking teleprompter reader can fool them!

Obama woke up these Great Americans
Again I want say Thank you Obama!

So, Lets Recap "2009".........what a year! WOW!!!

1. The American people inaugurate a half-Arab president with a total of 142 days experience as a US Senator from the most politically corrupt state (city) in America whose governors have been ousted from office. The President's first official act is to order the close of Gitmo and make sure terrorist's civil rights are not violated. (Honest mistake?)

2. The U.S. Congress rushes to confirm a black Attorney General, Eric Holder, whose law firm we later find out represents seventeen Gitmo Terrorists. (An honest mistake?)

3. The CIA Boss appointee, Leon Panetta, has absolutely no experience.

4. We got the second most corrupt American woman (Pelosi is #1) as Secretary of State; bought and paid for.

5. We got a Tax Cheat for Treasury Secretary who did not properly file his own taxes for 12 years.

6. A Commerce Secretary nominee who withdrew due to corruption charges.

7. A Tax cheat nominee for Chief Performance Officer who withdrew under charges.

8. A Labor Secretary nominee who withdrew under charges of unethical conduct.

9. A Secretary HHS nominee (Daschle) who withdrew under charges of cheating on his taxes.

10. Multiple appointments of former lobbyists after an absolute campaign statement that no lobbyists would be appointed.

All this occurred just during the first three weeks. . . But who's counting?

America is being run by the modern-day Three Stooges; Barry, Nancy and Harry and they are still trying to define stimulus..."it's spending!!!"

The congress passes the $800,000,000,000 (that's $800 billion) pork-loaded spending bill where the government gives you a smidgen of your tax dollars ($13 per week), making you feel so good about yourself [stimulated], that you want to run out to Wal-Mart and buy a new Chinese-made HDTV!

Only with the Liberals...
Pray for our country.
Here's the good news though - Obama took Air Force One to Denver to sign the stimulus package, wasting as much as 10,000 gallons of fuel OR 24 JOBS FOR ONE YEAR.

Don't you just love hypocrites?
Obama went to the International Olympic Committee to have them choose Chicago for a host city, he failed.
Obama went to Copenhagen to lecture them on global warming, he failed
Obama went to New Jersey to promote the Democratic candidate for governor, he failed,
Obama went to Virginia to promote the Democratic candidate for governor, he failed.
Obama went to Massachusetts to promote the Democratic candidate for senator, he failed.

Speaking of praying, Obama has now been president for a full year and yet he & wife (first lady) Michelle, the Christian family they claim to be, have not attended church since the inauguration.

Obama is the 1st president in history who did not attend any Christmas religious observance.

And finally, he is the 1st president to remain on vacation after a terrorist attack.

In these times 'I'll keep my God, my freedom, my gun and my money.
Anyone that supports this insanity can keep "THE CHANGE".

Just Facts...............................yet I'm sure those on the Left will say this is no big deal!!!!!!!

Work or Not to Work

Ever since being forced to leave job we loved, the wife has been "strongly encouraging" us to seek employment. This during a time we are undergoing the biggest unemployment problems for years and when the Government has manage to screw up the economy so bad our stock portfolio is plunging off the high dive.

But that hasn't discouraged the wife. She has subscribed to several employment notices via email that keep her posted on any possible jobs within 10,000 miles.

So far, so good! Nothing is showing up that for which our background is qualified.

But she's persistant. So, today, while she's out for a while, we took a look at one of the notices and found the perfect job.

It's in Dyersburg - not far from home - and must pay real well. They want to pay a "highly competitive recruitment package" and then include a production bonus, relocation fees, education debt assistance and even help pay a monthly financial stipend while they finish my training.

We may not get the position, but she'll be proud of us for planning to submit an application.

But first, we need to find out what a BC/BE neurologist does during the day. We think we can fake it for a while - at least until we get through the training part - and so we'll willing to make a concession on our compensation until that time.

And if that doesn't pan out, well, we have other options.

One of the emails we opened was a notification from Mike Ugo that he was forwarding to me $6,500 today. It is to arrive through Western Union. That's good news, but it gets better.

Mr. Ugo says he is going to be sending $6,500 every day until we receive our entire $2.9 million. (Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, right?)

In order to receive the funding, we need to contact a Mr. Good Luck (funny name, huh?) and give him our bank account numbers and Social Security number so they will know they are sending the money to the correct person.

It had to be legit because he gave us a telephone number down in the Caribbean where all those rich people live.

Wow! That was easy.

The wife will be proud of us when she returns.

This making money thing easier that we thought.

After all, it's not brain surgery!

Biggest Thrill of All

With a family of six children scattered from one coast to the other . . . and to the Gulf . . . it is difficult to get everyone together at a single gathering. So, when even two of the offspring and their families have an opportunity to gather.

It is a great thrill.

That was the opportunity we had recently when the youngest son and his family flew to Florida for a short vacation and the oldest daughter and her family - who live in the area - met with us while we were there for a month of doing nothing. Most of our stay was done in Sebring (the same as the famous speedway Sebring) while the final week was in Clearwater.

We spent most of that time indulging in doing exactly what our doctor told us not to do while in Florida: gorging on fresh shrimp and other shellfish. Bubba Gump Shrimp Company, The Conch Republic, Cajun Bayou, The Don Ce´sar Beach Resort . . . they all had enough fresh seafood to satisfy your appetite many times over.

What a thrill that was.

It was at the Grand Hotel Don Ce´sar that we all had a meal and long visit together. What a place!

Visitors and guests had to walk down opulent hallways with numerous luxury shops of all kinds. And then down a winding stairway to the pool and out to a private beach along the Gulf where we watched the sun set just prior to an evening rain.

From there it was into a dining room with those booths like you see in those big fancy restaurants in New York or Los Vegas. You know the type . . . booths shaped like a C with the one in the middle having to disturb everyone else if they needed to go to the bathroom.

We oped for the grill area.

It was a thrill just visiting.

After looking over the menu, we choose to share a sandwich with the wife and order one beer. She had water.

The children, however, decided to not only have a beer apiece (4) but a couple of appetizers that could be shared. As each plate was brought to the table - by no less than two waiters - the wife was slowly calculating the total tab in her head . . . which prompted her to cut me off after two glasses of brew.

The night ended too soon, because we were enjoying sitting back and watching our family talk and get to know one another.

When the check arrived after a couple of hours of our indulgence, we prepared for the worse. Bank loan, cash in our retirement, get an advance on our SS, how were we going to pay?

But then came the biggest thrill of our entire trip.

Not one, but both siblings offered to pay. In fact, they got into an argument as to who was going to pay. The wife started to say something, but, thankfully, they didn't hear her.

How to please an 87-year-old

Walk into any mall in the country and you will see teenagers - or younger - walking around oblivious to their surroundings. They are looking down pushing buttons on their telephone talking to friends (oops, that's texting). Probably to those who are walking with them . . .

We saw four young people in a restaurant recently, each with a hand held device, talking to each other at the same time they were texting someone else.

We're not sure how they were keeping up with it all!

But the younger generation grew up with such devices. The older - 55 and up - generation remembers when Dick Tracy called for help on his wrist radio. Something meant for science fiction, not real life.

Today we made a telephone call to our mother. Nothing really unusual. Just checking on her health and to see how she was feeling following a nasty fall.

She was thrilled to death!

I'm so glad you called, she said. I'm didn't know if I could operate my new 'phone or not.

It was just yesterday that she purchased her first cellular telephone. The first day was spent calling her children (and anyone else she could think of) to let them know of her new trek into the technological world of modern times.

She likes calls, but says she is still learning how to operate the device that requires no attachment to a telephone jack.

"I have to remember that after I flip it up I still have to say 'hello'."

Sometimes, its the simple things.

The red jalapeno

We're always looking for a good home cooked meal while traveling. And by home cooked, we aren't talking some of the concoctions we have found on some restaurant menus. We looking for meat loaf, ham, greens, mashed potatoes, green beans, mac and cheese . . . all the "good" things people need to survive.

We also don't mind trying something different while traveling to various regions.

For example, we wouldn't mind trying some alligator tail if we were in Florida. Or sucking the crushed head of a crayfish if we were in the heart of Louisiana.

When we visited the Dixie III in Asheboro, North Carolina, we could tell by the noon crowd we had picked a good place. If you spot a vacant table you better grab it. As we stood in line several people walked past us to take a seat before someone gave us the information we need: Don't wait, if someone gets up, grab the seat.

After grabbing a seat we noticed they had daily specials right up our alley. Baked ham with three sides, $5.99 including a drink.

"What will you have?" the waitress asked.

The baked ham, fried squash, green beans and . . . well, let's see here. Oh, yeah, we'll take the red seedless jalapeno peppers.

"What?" she inquired.

The red seedless jalapeno peppers. Never had tried them before and I'll give it a shot. I'm a;ways willing to try new things.

"What are you looking at, exactly?" she asked, with the wife joining in. Both with a look like we were crazy,

Right there, we pointed to the specials. The red seedless jalapeno peppers.

Both looked, read and then commenced laughing. Before they were through the waitress noted that we had made her day. In fact, she said it was the best laugh she had for a week.

Maybe we had better get out some reading glasses and take a closer look.

Ooops! The red seedless jalapenos transformed to red seedless grapes.

We ordered them anyway. and for the rest of the meal the waitress kept checking back wanting to inquire if the "red seedless jalapenos" were too hot for us.

But, we got a senior citizen discount, and did not the red seedless jalapenos again.

If you ever visit Dixie III in Asheboro, North Carolina and order the red seedless grapes, and the waitress looks at you and smiles, you'll know it's the same one who waited on us.

World's most expensive eggs

One of the goals of living on a fixed income is learning to plan your meals so you are not a regular visitor to the area restaurants. In an attempt to do just that, we prepared a meal of scrambled eggs, whop 'em biscuits, butter and molasses.

We should have made the decision to visit Huddle House and eat their eggs. The cost would have been a lot less.

No, these weren't some fancy duck eggs from China - or it is Japan - that have been buried for a century or so. They weren't imported ostrich eggs imported from Australia. Shucks, they weren't even hummingbird eggs from the forest of South America.

They were simple, white, 12 in a carton, chicken eggs!

And they cost $131.45!

How, so, you may wonder. Well it worked this way . . .

There are two adults and one four legged child who live in our house. One of the adults decided that it would be nice to fix a small plate of eggs for the child's supper.

Junior was delighted! He lapped them up in a couple of gulps and begged for more.

The next day he was feeling sort of out-of-sorts. Listless, you know?

He was walking across the living room when the diarrhea hit him. He couldn't make it to the door before it hit him again.

We called the vet for an emergency appointment and packed him up. After a quick exam the doc asked: What does he eat?

Dog food.

Do you feed him off the table?

No. Well, the wife did give him some eggs last night.

EGGS. What kind?

Scrambled chicken eggs.

Uh, do you know you don't feed these kind of furry pets scrambled chicken eggs?

Well, after a bill of $131.45, we do now.

The iPhone

The iPhone!

We've been studying about the novel new (to us) device for months. A few weeks ago we were in the Apple store in Memphis and the bug bit even harder. We even stopped by an AT&T store on the way home and checked to see if they still had some of the original iPhones in stock (the cheaper ones).

It took another week or so before we finally made the decision.

We consulted with our son who has one and he made the recommendation we forgo the $69 extended warranty and said all we needed was the vehicle charger. With his recommendations we headed off to the store and was about to close the deal when the wife sees a sign that says: Special with iPhone purchase. Free Case.

She should have stayed in the truck. The "free" case cost us an additional $108 - plus tax.

But the bottom line is this . . . the iPhone is worth the money!

It's almost scary what it will do. Download a free application (called app for short) and you can find anything you want - gas, food, lodging, hospitals . . . anything.

And then it will guide you from your location to the location you want to go.

There are also the fun things. We found one called The Moron Test. (Maybe not politically correct, but what the heck . . . . it's still fun.

The game gives simple instructions for you to follow, i.e., crack the eggs from largest to smallest. Simple, right?

Well, after an hour we have learned that "you are not much more than a basic mammal."

As with anything Apple does, every detail is covered right down to the padded box.

Bill Gates, eat your hear out!

We were forced into taking an early retirement from our position as general manager of a small weekly newspaper owned by a large company. Knowledge and experience be damned, youth and degrees (and lower salaries) became the thought process of our corporate office.

In all fairness, we had seriously considered retiring at the end of 2009. We informed our employer in the fall of 2008 of our thoughts.

It was December when we were called to the office for an annual evaluation and told: We've talked it over and decided that if you are going to retire we don't need to do an evaluation. In fact, we were told, if you decide to retire 10 months early we're willing to offer a severance package.

And what if I wanted to stay until the end of the year?

Well, I could still leave 10 months early and wouldn't be eligible for the severance package.

We've done some nutty things in our life and people have been more than willing to tell us that. But, in truth, momma didn't raise no nuts!

So, we "retired" and took the severance package.

As it turned out things have worked out fairly well so far. We get to do some traveling, see the country and now we have found the wife a job that will require her to travel the country in our travel trailer (we're the driver) while she works.

Like we said . . . momma didn't raise no nuts!

The Back Page

After being forced into retirement earlier this year, one of my passions was snuffed out . . . I hope to find it again in this new media.